Hildebrande the Indicator

[Scene: Interior of shabby, neglected, poorly illuminated office. A single light-bulb is slowly swinging. There is a tiny stained desk and two chairs squashed next to a crammed filing cabinet. A dejected figure is hunched over in one of the chairs. He has his face in his hands].

Once again I find myself hauled up in front of the CEO. This time he has been blathering on about my poor excuse of a follow up story on dogstitution. I have endured what can only be described as a two-hour rant on the ethics of journalism and the cost of transgressing various legal orders - to wit, one ASBO. I have just learned that for my sins I am being sent for a 'holiday' to Scotland. This apparently will give me time to 'lay low', 'take stock' and avoid further ASBO breaches whilst the CEO negotiates a settlement with an outraged miniature dachshund dog-owner. I have no choice but to submit to the will of the CEO. I am going to Scotland...

[Fade to Black. Cut-to: Scotland].

Scotland: I'd never been here before. I was impressed by its excellent square-yard to Castle ratio.

I am in Scotland, or to be more precise Edinburgh. Little did I realise what an awesome opportunity for the Bottom Line this was actually going to be. I entertained myself initially by climbing steps and venturing into dark alleyways. There were plenty of them.

Steps in Edinburgh: They sure have a lot of 'em.

Alleyways: Also, there are many of these.

There are limits to what you can do to make these sorts of places entertaining.

Having exhausted the fun in this rather more quickly than I had anticipated, I decided that the only reasonable course of action was to go in search of local culture. Perhaps some shopping? After all, I had been sent here to 'take stock', and to avoid further litigation.

Some shopping certainly helped. Embedding yourself in the local culture is a must-do of the modern traveller.

Feeling refreshed and also considerably cheered by the delight of being in foreign parts I scampered to the nearest tourist attraction. Seeing as I was immersing myself in all things Scotland, the only sensible thing to do was to find the nearest and preferably biggest Castle. Fortunately, I was in Edinburgh so there was one close at hand. I felt my spirits soar and was close to forgetting all the acrimony and bitter shouting that had characterised my last few working days. I was most impressed with the big building that loomed in front of me and studied the image I'd captured thus in the digital camera1.

Edinburgh Castle: A Marvellous example of digiphotography, notice the careful use of light, shade, composition, erm, hang-on what's that blurry thing in the bottom right of shot?

As I effortlessly mangled the user-interface of the digicamera I became aware of a fascinating blurry blob in the bottom right corner of my magnificent Castle picture. I was intrigued and outraged. I zoomed in.

Yes. Definitely something almost child-like in the fore-ground there. Perhaps pointing. Not really sure. Not my thumb.

I headed back to where I'd taken the picture and scouted around. I was looking for a tiny, indistinct thing. Possibly pointing. Not my thumb. My journalistic juices were flowing. Perhaps this was a Bottom Line scoop! The CEO would be pleased. Suddenly, I caught a glimpse of a tiny figure, and hands shaking in excitement I managed this digiphotie effort.

Hildebrande the Hobbit. He is pointing to a particularly magnificent piece of architecture. (Out of shot).

TB: Ahem. Hi. Gosh your rather small. What's that you're pointing at?
H: It's a magnificent example of Scottish architecture!
TB: So it is.

Turned out I'd only stumbled upon an adventuresome Hobbit, named Hildebrande, on an epic voyage of discovery. He didn't hang around for long, but heck what a story!

H: You'll have to excuse me, I'm on an epic voyage of discovery and haven't got much time to chat to passing journalists like yourself. I am off up yon hill.
TB: Ah.

Hildebrande strides off into the distance, indicating things as he goes.

As I watched the little fellow striding off purposely into the distance (about 3 yards) a warm glow set upon me. I flicked gleefully through my exclusive shots of Hildebrande and knew that the CEO would look upon me favourably when I returned to the office. This is Techno-Boy reporting, from his holiday, in Scotland, for the Bottom Line.

Notes of the Foot Variety
1. I confess to not actually owning a digital camera and having to experience the joys of digiphotography vicariously. Many thanks to my GF for the use of her pictures and digicamera for the photies contained within this blog.