Spare a thought for the vulnerable dog at this time of year...

As part of our vulnerable dog campaign we interviewed Lenny (left) and asked him to tell us about his experiences of being a vulnerable dog.

As you can imagine, it was difficult to conduct this interview. Partly because Lenny is a dog, but also because of the difficult relationship with his "owners" who were in the vicinity at the time of the interview.

We hope to bring you a one-to-one with Lenny later on this month that's if he has managed to escape the clutches of his nefarious "owners" of course.

[A crowded pub somewhere in North London. It's New Years Eve and pretty hectic as you can imagine. I've managed to grab a few words with Lenny whilst his "owners" were at the bar. Lenny is sat on the arm of the sofa looking, well, damn cute in his bright red hoody. But don't get suckered in by how things appear, there's a sinister underbelly to all this. I'm gonna get right down to the Bottom Line with this one].

TB: So, Lenny, can I call you Lenny - is that all right?
L: Yeah, yeah. Course. Sound guv'nor, sound. [Glances left and right].
TB: Thanks for sparing us a few minutes here at the Bottom Line to give us some insight into, well, being a "vulnerable dog" I guess. I appreciate this is difficult for you. [Sincere, earnest expression].
L:[Puzzled] "Vulnerable"? what yer mean guv'nor?
TB: The constant attention, Lenny, the being dragged about for all and sundry to coo and pet over, the hand-bag carrying arrangments, the non-stop fawning, the hoody. How is it to be a dog prostitute at your tender age?

Lenny, in his bag. About to hit another 'gig'...

L:[Somewhat bewildered] Prostitute? That's loco, man, loco! [Looks left and right with increased vigour than before].
TB: Prostitute Lenny. Dogstitute even. Being pimped for your cute looks. How does that make you feel?
L: Feel? Feel crackin' geezer, crackin'. [Now looking around with a real sense of urgency].
TB: Oh-gosh-no. Not drugs too Lenny. Don't tell me they've got you on the brain-candy as well? [Look of genuine concern, wringing of hands].
L: Drugs? What are you on geezer?
TB: Oh no, Lenny, we here at the Bottom Line stand firm in the drug-taking scene. Don't touch them with the proverbial barge-pole. Oh-gosh-no. They don't have you dealing as well do they? Oh-mi-gosh.
L: [Getting increasingly distressed]. Huh? Are you having a laugh guv'nor. Listen I think it would be a good idea if we just drop this interview thing right here. [Looking around, straining to catch a glimpse of somebody in the crowd].
TB: [Knowing look, winks discreetly]. Ah - they're putting the squeeze on you eh Lenny? I understand. Look here's my number - give me a call as soon as you can get some space eh? I mean that. Here at the bottom line - were here to call a spade just what it is. Anytime you can manage to getaway - no I mean that - anytime, just give me a call. And, take care if you can eh Lenny?

[Lenny jumps down from the sofa and scurries off into the crowd of NYE revellers, tail-wagging].

TB: [Staring meaningfully into the face of the viewing public]. So there you have it folks. Cute little guy like that being traded on for his looks. Being coerced into a life of drug-taking and pushing. Being carted from venue to venue - private parties - public venues. Owners? or Pimps? I leave you to decide. Hopefully the little guy will be able to give them the slip for long enough for us to speak with him more frankly without the pressures of the heavy mob all around him. This is Techno_Boy, for the Bottom Line, signing off.